The first few days was tough on me, the shattering of my heart when those words flew out from your mouth, like glass shards piercing through me. I walked home with heavy steps,drowning myself in this miserable mess with tears. Songs took on a whole new level of emotions; lyrics dawned on me, screaming out the anguish and hurt. But since it's genuine, of course it would hurt...
Took me awhile to get over you, but I don't want to lose you as a friend. Hopefully I'll be able to find some courage to start talking to you, catch up a bit about your university freshman life, but mainly just to keep in touch. If you are curious, I am studying diligently now, so you don't need to worry for me. Got IPPT Gold too, just yesterday only haha. Really had this urge to tell you of all people first, but I guess I was too timid, too shy, too afraid that you would not care. That your unintentional slow reply would make me feel I am annoying you. That you treat me less than what I want to. That I'm worth much much less than your friends.
Worth.less.
Maybe it might be because you are afraid to commit, afraid that you will suffer the pain again, afraid the end is not the lovely church chimes you so endear but the incessant quarrels you so fear. Maybe your heart remains locked to me, or anyone else for that matter. I so hope time will erode your fears, heal your heart, and learn to trust someone else with your heart once again.
I am pathetic to voice it out through my blog, perhaps you will see it perhaps you don't. All I want to say is good luck for your studies, stay healthy and be happy.
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