Saturday, August 30, 2014


Been awhile since I went back to school. Kinda nostalgic just sitting on the class bench playing cards again, with the same faces, the same play tactics, the same blaming of Derek's lousy card plays. Walking across the canteen made me look back at the happiness I once shared with the canteen uncle and aunties, all those cherished memories of me sharing my stories with them and vice versa. Their unyielding support and faith on me was greatly needed at that time and definitely appreciated forever. Thank you, really. For being there when I needed company, when the class is full of geniuses who does not need to study as hard as me, when they got good grades even though I put in equal effort (or believed so). For simply telling me "Ah boy ah, 你一定可以的!"

As I trudged my way towards the other wing (not really sure which is which anymore), memories of me walking across central plaza early before flag raising surfaced across my mind. Carrying my bag, listening and enjoying my songs. The bus journeys to and fro from my house to school. Wow, reminiscence. I miss such a carefree life.

The irony. 

To truly appreciate what has been lost. 

Recently watched Lucy and wanted to share what it taught me. How are we measuring our lives' worth and experience up till now? Are there any units of measurement? Oh, I have 5 inches of experience more than you? Time, an abstract concept, a unit of measuring seemingly minute things in life. Time is also something you breathe, you eat, you hear, you live everyday. In fact, therein lies the irony, we are so sure we have time, then when it's time to go, we realised we have no time. We do not feel nor experience the actual seconds ticking away, the hours draining by, the days passing by, the months flying by, the years gone by. In the blink of an eye, I am an adult now. Too fast, am I growing up too fast? Or was I too absorbed to feel time moving? 

Times like this, I do my soul-searching. Calm dark nights, with no one to disturb my thoughts, to let whatever comes to mind flow into words like freshwater stream.

To everyone reading, I dedicate this song to you, cherish time and your loved ones.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Still stuck in Singapore (thinking of you?)

The first few days was tough on me, the shattering of my heart when those words flew out from your mouth, like glass shards piercing through me. I walked home with heavy steps,drowning myself in this miserable mess with tears. Songs took on a whole new level of emotions; lyrics dawned on me, screaming out the anguish and hurt. But since it's genuine, of course it would hurt...

Took me awhile to get over you, but I don't want to lose you as a friend. Hopefully I'll be able to find some courage to start talking to you, catch up a bit about your university freshman life, but mainly just to keep in touch. If you are curious, I am studying diligently now, so you don't need to worry for me. Got IPPT Gold too, just yesterday only haha. Really had this urge to tell you of all people first, but I guess I was too timid, too shy, too afraid that you would not care. That your unintentional slow reply would make me feel I am annoying you. That you treat me less than what I want to. That I'm worth much much less than your friends.


Maybe it might be because you are afraid to commit, afraid that you will suffer the pain again, afraid the end is not the lovely church chimes you so endear but the incessant quarrels you so fear. Maybe your heart remains locked to me, or anyone else for that matter. I so hope time will erode your fears, heal your heart, and learn to trust someone else with your heart once again.

I am pathetic to voice it out through my blog, perhaps you will see it perhaps you don't. All I want to say is good luck for your studies, stay healthy and be happy.