Tuesday, March 19, 2013

am i a failure?

its been long since i wrote on this blog... kinda getting bored of these repetitive lifestyle - wake up, go school, study, eat, shit, sleep. Rinse and repeat until the experiment gives at least 3 consistent results, which in this case means at least 3 As for BT1. Honestly, given the amount of effort i put in, i dun see how am i going to fail (of course, assuming i studied smart). Sigh, one of these depressing life reflecting moments. Apart from a miserly 269 PSLE score, i have next to nothing to mark my accomplishments. No H3, no good musical background ( unless you count 2 months of basic guitar), barely average marks for J1, no looks, no skills at sports, no leadership position, and yet the ironic thing is i have no life too. Says alot when i have nothing to do yet i have no time to spare. Jack of all trades, master of none.

Trying to find out my positive traits somehow made it worse.
Best subject: Chem. but chem genii everywhere.
Best PT: Pull-ups. but look at NSmen everywhere.
Best musical talent: Sing/ Guitar. even so, my guitar pales in comparison to the likes of _______.
Best skill: Cleaning the house? Washing dishes?

To top it off, i have zero leadership positions and yet to zero national competition records. while people are out there shining brilliantly and excelling in both their CCA and studies, here i am rotting at home, barely even studying. Whats the point of studying so hard and not getting that A? Life is a paradox, really.

i hate this life, this non-chalent laidback style of living, this lack of self-improvement, this mess of being me. Society certainly deems me as a loser, but am i really so?

1 comment:

  1. Erh hem erh hem! If you are failure,what am I? My psle t score is 231(yes I know that it's really bad but don't look down on me k?) Through reading your blog,you are practically mentioning about your studies all the time. If so,i believe you will definitely do well. I mean,come on! You are in HCI,so many people want to go there but they can't make it in. BUT YOU DID! So consider yourself an elite. Sheer hardwork is good,but remember to relax too. You've put in so much effort in pull ups,I'm sure you will get to your desired number of it one day,it's better to have small improvements each time than no improvements at all right? I can't play a single musical instrument,but i can sing since I'm in a choir. And I'm proud of it. So just be proud of who you are and as long as you did your best,there's no need to compare yourself to others :)