Tuesday, December 18, 2012


one trip to malaysia was sufficient enough for me to acquire many mini bumps all over my body, some even in uncanny places. amazing, i thought, how does a mosquito navigate through my shirt, fly through my pants and whatnots and successfully launch an attack on my pitiful body?

somehow, i secretly believe mosquitoes undergo SWAT training (haha get the irony?)

haha, continuing my theory of mosquitoes,  they are trained at a tender age of 2 weeks old to aim succulent meaty individuals/ cute innocent kids/ sweet people like me... . then, they are taught combat training, like avoiding the beatdown, silent creeping skills and noisy bzzzzz radar communication skills. every rainy season will be their promotion test, criteria is to be a sucker suck as much blood from us humans as possible and return unscathed. of course, only the brave and skilled make it back alive. tales passed down generations by generations of legendary mosquitoes who survived the great HW1 (human war 1) are famous within battalions of mosquitoes, inspiring them to be like their forefathers. should one day they die, they die a honorable death.

so how do they complete their tasks? firstly, they select their targets wisely, preferably young, fat, slow, cumbersome oafs (yes, an example would be dudley, refer to fat kid below)

for slightly picky mosquitoes, they even pick the type of blood they want to suck.

yeap, then they dive in at near ma(t)ch 3 speed, aiming for the best spot to penetrate the skin and into a thick juicy blood vessel.

and they suck (pun intended).

some of them even aim for difficult places, like *ahem* and *cough cough* (unsuitable for minors) just so to brag to other mosquitos

haha, this concludes my highly suspicious theory of mosquitoes. cheers~

No comments:

Post a Comment